Friday, June 19, 2009

I must confess....

Not a single one of my friends knows the 100% real me. I keep some parts of me to myself depending on weather or not I feel that they would understand or relate.... or not judge me.

I'm not really diggin' the person my dad has become since my mom passed. Maybe this is more the real him and parts I didn't see because he filtered them around my mom, or maybe it's still the grief occupying and temporarily changing his personality? Who knows, but I don't really enjoy spending time with him.

My mind is sometimes paralyzed by indecision. I'm so worried about making the "right" choice(s) that I get stuck and can't decided. It wears me out.

I'm really tired of going thru life without a permanent partner to lean on, to work toward goals with, to build a life and family with.

2 comments:

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I think very few people actually share all of themselves with others.

Hang in there girl! You'll find the one.

T said...

I could have written this blog post. Well, except for the stuff about your dad.

I get paralyzed too. Then I have to remember, whatever decision I do make, I will be ok.

You will be too.

Oh and that last line of your post? Amen.