Monday, October 5, 2009

Surprise Surprise....

Well not really.

Just as I predicted (of course didn't say it out loud incase I was wrong) I heard from the Ex over the weekend.  I was expecting to hear from him sometime between finishing his last training class and leaving for overseas.   I didn't expect the call to come so quickly.

I knew at some point (just as I was getting use to the idea of not having conversations with him) I'd hear from him.  I knew he wouldn't leave without testing the waters to see if I'm considered "a friend" and if he still has some sort of connection with me.

All along I told myself that I wouldn't answer when he called. *I've heard that before*

I was out at the driving range on a beautiful Sunday morning swinging away and the phone rang.  I took a look.  I could have ignored the call.  I didn't. *again, doesn't this sound familiar*  Talking to me like normal, like the last conversation we had wasn't in an airport with me crying my eyes out as we said goodbye, the final goodbye to our relationship and the final goodbye before he leaves overseas.

I didn't have to answer... but I couldn't help it.  I think I was afraid of how I'd feel if I didn't talk to him again or cut off our communication before he deploys.

One phone call and here I go all over again trying to let go.

My freakin shots went to shit too.

3 comments:

T said...

:(

Oh honey. I'm sorry... Ugh. I get it.

Deep breaths. Aannnd resume as normal.

((hugs))

Danielle said...

I think that you might have regreted not answering. Sorry it hurts. Keep your head up.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

Oh girl, Don't let him string you along. With him it's got to be all or nothing.