Monday, April 27, 2009

No more polite

So all signs are starting to point toward the anger phase. Yeah, it might just be PMS but I really don't think so. And sometimes swearing just makes me feel better.

Shit happens in relationships, but damn it, I'm starting to get really effin pissed of at this situation.

I'm pissed off because I'm tired of crying, I'm tired of thinking of all the upcoming plans that are no longer in my life, I'm tired of going to reach for the phone and remember I can't make that call.

I'm pissed off because I was looking forward to our trip to the coast.

I'm pissed off because I thought "this was it".

I'm pissed off becuase I really liked your family and wanted to spend more holidays with them.

I'm mad as hell becuase I want to act in ways that would be oh so evil and temporarily satisfying but I won't go there and it takes up a lot of my energy to supress all this crap.

I'm pissed off because how to you spoil a girl on valentines day, buy her a ring, talk about your future together, bug her about moving, tell her how much you are ready to settle down and all that one minute and the next say you aren't ready to get married, you aren't sure if things would work out in the long run. Save everyone some drama and speak the truth from the beginning.

My Ego is pissed off at you because how the hell can you walk away from us like you just flipped a switch and don't give a damn. Your mistake.

And I'm angry at you for not being the man that I thought you were, the man that you portrayed yourself to be.

Fuck you for breaking my heart.

3 comments:

New Girl on Post said...

Let it out! I think it's good for the soul.

I'm really sorry you had this experience. Quite honestly I can't imagine why anyone would do that to somebody. Talk about marriage and then do a complete 180? Crazy!

SS said...

You and be both. This may sound crazy because of the way it ended, but thank goodness it was a good relationship (while it lasted) or I'd end up bitter, resentful AND heart broken. I'm trying to not look back and second guess everything despite the inclination to do so. They were happy memories, just keep them that way and move on to bigger and better things that are in store for me! *fake it till you make it positive thinking*

T said...

A-fucking-men.

So happy to see you blogging! Hooray!