Thursday, April 23, 2009

My Heart is Heavy Today

It's only been a short while that I've had to adjust to the changes in my life after the break up. I know I want to rush past this hurting part and I've been trying to stay distracted or occupied with other thoughts. Some days that works and others it doesn't. Um, yeah, more that three weeks will be required to heal. *darn it*

Yesterday was a good day, today is a little harder.

This relationship was a big deal to me. Bigger than any other I've had. This was the man I was going to marry. We were planning a future together and because of the nature of his job (military) was going to require a lot of changes on my part. I'd already gotten a taste of what it might be like just by the unexpected events that had happened so far in our relationship and his career. I had let those swirl and bubble around in my brain and I was ready to make that commitment. I was picturing our family. I was ready for a change. I was ready for a move. I was ready for a new adventure.

I got my new adventure, it just wasn't the one I was expecting. I hate this shit. *sigh*

Going to visit my Granny and Auntie this weekend. Will have to break the news to them. Suck. They were really happy for me. I don't want to tell them. I don't want my Granny to worry about me. Ever since my mom passed she has taken it upon herself to "take care of her little girl". Double triple suck.

I'm out.


New Girl on Post said...

It's hard when you prepare yourself for something and then it doesn't happen. Sounds like you are on the right track though. Hope this period of time passes quickly for you so you can heal!