Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Back to my other reality

Isn't it interesting how a sudden event in your life can demand so much attention at the time that any other issues or struggles in your life quickly move to the background, almost like they don't even exist? *poof* They are gone... unfortunately not forgotten.

The stress in the forefront of my brain recently was having to go out and replace my car this last weekend. Now that the car is purchased and that piece is over with, guess what? That other stuff is still there and has to be dealt with.

I'm still struggling with the relationship with my father. He called last week and asked that in the next two weeks I come over and get my "memories" out of the house. He said he doesn't want to feel responsible for them if something were to happen to the house and I lost them. I know there is more to it than that, but hey, I'm more than a grown woman so no reason my dad should still store my stuff. Never mind that this is stuff that I never expected to have to deal with until much much further down the line in my life.

I still have that nagging floating issue with the Ex. We still talk, but I know in my heart that the big grand show and the whole "will you give me another chance" conversations of recent past were just that; A show. Other than phone calls, he never followed thru with actions. Even taking into consideration his career and his being in the military, he had time for some other "pleasure" things in life so if he was serious and wanted it he would have made it happen and did have time for "us". But I can't seem to take the final step and let that go. Damn it, and I really wanted him to be serious and for us to work it out. Oh well. *sigh*

And once all this starts to process I know that there is more to come in relation to this recent "tragic accident" that I will have to deal with as they come. It will most likely be a long process... a process which I wish I could write about. Well, I can write about it but something about sharing those writings would help me.

On a positive note... I was reading New Girl On Post's "I Never" today and one of her nevers reminded me of one of my likes.... golf. The weather her has finally cooled down enough here that it's time for me to get out to the range. I'm putting that on my To Do list for tomorrow after work and excited to wear my new golf shoes. Thanks Melissa, you don't get it but you reminded me of something I do!

2 comments:

Sara said...

Sounds like you could use the break with golf. My version of golfing is riding in the cart with a cocktail.

Hope it cheers you up.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I hate to hear that thinks with your dad aren't going great. And relationship issues ugh... Sometimes you just have to know when to cut them lose. Guys can be confusing and if he's deploying soon... I don't know sometimes that can make them realize their mistakes...