Sunday, July 12, 2009

Ugh

I'd been posting just kind of random light distracting stuff.  The master of distraction has been at it again and I've found lots of stuff to try and keep "issues" out of my head.


I have an appointment with my counselor tomorrow.  It's been about a month.  It was suppose to be two weeks, but she was sick then I went on vacation.

I'm dreading going in tomorrow.  Almost in tears kind of dreading going in because things I've been trying to ignore are going to have to come out and be dealt with.  I know it's needed because I've been doing quite a bit of "future tripping" at night and starting to feel the absent and disengaged self coming back.

I want to hug my mom.  I sometimes I almost try to forget her so I don't miss her so much. *ouch*  I still can't believe I'll never be able to touch her again or hear the sound of her voice.

I just don't know what to do about my relationship with my dad.

Other than mentioning that we had broken up, we've never talked about my ex or that situation.  I can't decided if I want to bring up the current situation.  I think I know in my heart what needs to be done, but I can't seem to bring myself to do it.  If I talk to her about it, I imagine she would encourage me to get it done and over with and I'm not sure I want to hear that right now.  Like if I give it a little more time something magical will happen and what I feel now will be proven wrong and I'll skip off happily ever after with the love of my life..... and I live on Fantasy Island.

Um, I wonder if I can find another vacation, pass time, event to keep me occupied instead? Back to my Snuggy and maybe a glass of wine.  

1 comments:

T said...

It might be just what you need to discuss the situation with her. Maybe she can help you to get your thoughts in order or ask questions you hadn't thought of. Let her know that you don't want her to encourage you either way... but just help you process it.

((hugs))