She Ran Forrest.... She Ran!!!

MY mountains, USA.

And I wasn't running from anything... I did it for the sake of getting some exercise!

It's been about 2 months 1.5 weeks since I've been out running and then it was thru the streets of a town in a foreign country.   Boy what a different two months can make, huh?

The setting felt so familiar as my last few runs. There was so so so much similar at first I wanted to retreat;  The weather was chilly (40ish), same cold weather gear on, backdrop of snow covered mountains behind the city.. But wait, I'm HOME.  This is MY turf, MY favorite park, MY familiar mountains!  I wasn't going for performance ( *heh* that was funny, me.. running...performance) I just needed to get out and do it and it felt great.

I was reprogrammed.

I am home. I felt much more grounded and focused back on my home turf and the present.  My head has been just about everywhere but in the present since I've been back.  It felt good to be in the moment and feeling settled at home. Finally.

I'm going to attribute it to not only the run on Sunday, but the whole weekend I was busy doing things that had absolutely no Ex associated memories.  I was doing things that were just me and nothing he and I had ever done together.  Out at an Irish pub drinking beer and eating corned beef & cabbage and hanging with new friends and a day up snowboarding.  All new memories.  All me baby!

Anger Never Felt So Good!

I got angry...angrY.... angRY.... anGRY..... aNGRY....ANGRY!!!

Al-leh-lu-yer!

I don't get angry enough when I should. I stuff it.  I stuff it with pizza. I cover it with gravy and smother it with ice cream.

Yes, I've been pissed off and angry over the BS with my ex but up until now I hadn't gotten yelling, crying, kick in the door, throw the cushions, knock things off the table,  get it all out, honest to god angry.

It came out of nowhere.  Started with tears, well I cry for just about every emotion so tears were a part of the whole process, progressed to me yelling in the car, kept going into an almost uncontrollable urge for my legs to move with speed and power and kick something. (that was interesting considering I was in the car) I was trying to calculate the cost of a new interior door and wondering if it was worth the cost to go there.

I was physically fucking pissed the fuck off.

And then I felt relaxed and full of energy.  I might have even jumped up in the air and given a little *woot woot* because, damn, getting angry never felt so good!  I bet bet that cat is taking a nice nap now in front of the fire.... good call.