Wednesday, January 12, 2011

FTW !?!

Ok, so what the heck just really happened?

So that's not really even a true question because it didn't just happen, I just found out about it.

Angry Woman has moved on to leave Miss Dazed n' Confused

Did someone really just spend years working on a relationship with me and winning my heart while doing the same thing to others?  Did someone who clearly didn't want to be in a committed relationship really just convince me that we had a future together as partners and a family?  Did this same person really just have me come 1/2 way around the world to meet and mingle with coworkers under the impression that I was his "love" and would be back in the not to distant future to see them all again?  Did I really just sit with his family for Christmas (again) with them all under the same impression of our relationship as I was?  Did I really just spend the last year of my life praying every day for his safety while everyday he was trying to figure out how to keep up with all his women?  

The things I shared with him. Who was this person?

I do not understand this.

I know it's all a process.  I know it will get better over time.  I know I will be OK and in the grand scheme of things there is some lesson for me to learn and some sort of positive growth will be the end result.  I personally could think of other ways that I could have been given the opportunity to grow and learn, but who am I to decide what it is that I really need?

I wish I was 19 and didn't give a f**k.  I'd send you all out "BEWARE OF" fliers to plaster around the world.

Whatevh.

2 comments:

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

One day karma will come back on him. Don't worry, it will. Good things will happen to you and you'll never give him another thought again. Email me if you need to talk!

Athena said...

I know how you feel, currently in a very precarious relationship status and I hope the guy doesn't let me down again. At some point you just want what so many other people seem to find so quickly. Hope you're feeling better, and hope he gets a taste of his own medicine some day.