90...that's a lot of years under your belt
My beloved Granny turned 90 this week. I travled back home for a little celebration.
It involved a hummingbird cake and a bouquet of 90 roses.
I'm quite proud of myself for making this little beauty.
I've been feeling pretty lost, loney, and unaccomplished lately. I just can put my finger on what it will take for me to not feel this way anymore. I'm trying to just live in the moment and enjoy my life. I've had so much on my plate to deal with the last couple of years I feel like I've lost the ability to just live. I feel like I need to be doing something BIG, accomplishing something, working on a grand goal, helping someone, even being in crisis mode. ( I know that last one sucks but it's how I've been operating a lot)
Every morning I wake up and tell myself that I'm choosing to be happy and joyful and living my life to the fullest for that day but it doesn't take long for all the worry and trying to get control takes over.
I really wanted to talk to The Ex and got a "ring twice then the call is gone" kind of deal from him on Wednesday night. That sucks, not like I can just ring him back. Haven't gotten a call, email or skype from him since. I'm not feeling worried, this time it's all about me... I felt I needed to hear his voice. He can still say a few words and clam me.
Stuff from the accident I was in this summer is starting to roll. I had managed to kind of stuff it all away in the back of my head but now things are getting started it brings up unexpected feelings. I know getting it all started means the end is closer but the reality of dealing with insturance companies and lawyers is just *bleh*. I do feel better having an attorney, that means I don't have to talk to folks and try to deal with insurance companies myself but it's something I'd rather not be doing. I guess the good part is that my insurance pays for him.
This is pretty much enough rambling on for now. Back to work!